First off all, my best friends and I somehow survived our senior year at college. It was a close one though. Between drinking every night..and day, we may have skipped a class or two, which ultimately led to some failed classes.. But FUCK IT , nothing like a 5th year, right? Wrong. We all ended up taking summer classes, because Mommy and Daddy were not pleased to be sending their precious daughters back to the black hole for another year of blacking out. Even though it took some of us, 2 extra summer classes..and maybe a fall class at the local community college, we did it. We got our degree, and it wasn't our MRS. like we had all planned on getting - far from it actually.
The summer after graduation was a fun one. We were slowly but surely all finding out where our lives might take us. Whether it was in the DC metro area, or down in the state's capital, we all ended up where we belonged..at least for right now.
We all have had some ups and downs. Mainly involving boys. SHOCKER.
I like to consider my latest boy drama less of a heart break, and more of a heart attack. It seems weird to me that I intially met this boy 2 years ago. Something was different when we first met, as lame as it sounds, he took my breathe away, and not only because of his looks, it was something else, something that I don't think I will ever be able to fully explain -which makes me think will this ever be something more? Are we meant to be together one day?
Fast forward to today. We have been hanging out for months, since July to be exact. It started so fast - one day we were playing kickball on the Nation's Capitol, and that night we were in his bed..naked. He was hesitant at first, probably because of the five year age difference, or the fact that we met through my older brother - either way it didn't take long to realize he was going to be different than the rest. We started texting non-stop, from the moment I woke up to the moment I passed out. I would try to stay up as late as I could so I could just talk to him more, and he did the same. It was a never ending game that was played for a month. Flirty texts back and forth, "I can't wait to see you's" followed by the oh-so-cute smiley that makes every girls heart flutter. All was good. We were hanging out sober, drunk, during the day, at night..being with each other every chance we got. Then something changed. And to this day I am still trying to figure out what that was. I still fully believe it was the fact that his roommate was getting jealous that I was stealing his "best wingman". It's less of a theory actually, mainly because his roommate pulled me aside one night to tell me that actual line.
He started to become more distant, didn't answer my texts as fast, seemed less eager to hang out, so as much as I hated doing it-I asked what was wrong. This is where he differs from all the rest, instead of shrugging it off, and not given me an explanation. He answered truthfully. Told me that he liked hanging out with me, but liked his freedom just as much. He apologized for always being busy with work, and hated letting me down when he couldn't make our dates. It was weird, for as much as I was upset, I was happy too. He was being honest with me. That had never happened before. He wanted to still be friends, and because he was honest, I wanted to be too. I never realized how hard that would be though.
He started to become more distant, didn't answer my texts as fast, seemed less eager to hang out, so as much as I hated doing it-I asked what was wrong. This is where he differs from all the rest, instead of shrugging it off, and not given me an explanation. He answered truthfully. Told me that he liked hanging out with me, but liked his freedom just as much. He apologized for always being busy with work, and hated letting me down when he couldn't make our dates. It was weird, for as much as I was upset, I was happy too. He was being honest with me. That had never happened before. He wanted to still be friends, and because he was honest, I wanted to be too. I never realized how hard that would be though.
We decided we would go out to dinner together once every two weeks-and then watch movies all night. As much as I knew this would be a bad idea, because I would never get over him-I couldn't say no. I wanted to see him. I wanted to know what he was doing. (Obviously I knew a majority of these things through facebook stalking, but still). And then for a while we stopped. The holidays came and went, and it was just too hard to find time for each other-I mean why should we, we aren't dating. But then something happened, one of our friends wanted to start a bar league, and wanted both of us on the team. This was scary, knowing I would see him every week. It made me nervous. The first time after not seeing him for a month or so, I had actually made myself sick on the drive over to the bar. I was shaking, and frantically texting all my friends begging for advice or for someone to come meet me. But this is the real world, people have jobs and can't just come meet their best friend at 10pm on a Thursday night. It ended up being a good thing. As soon as he walked in, I felt the spark I felt when we first met two years ago. It made me instantly smile, and made so many possibilities run through my head. What was going to happen next? We ended up flirting the entire night, and because I was being somewhat responsible I drove him home from the bar to his house. I wanted to kiss him, or park my car - anything to be with him longer, and even though he lingered in my car - he eventually got out, and I went with out a kiss that night. Not even five minutes Thank You text, which immediately initiated the flirty texts. He told me he wish I crashed at his place, and as much as I wanted too, a part of me was glad that I didn't just because of the feeling I got when I received his text.
A week passed as we flirted via G-chat (so #postgrad). And we met once again at bar games. This week our flirting was a little toned down, until the team left. We decided we weren't finished drinking (well he did, I was DEFINITELY done for the night). We went to 2 more bars with his roommate and his fling for the night. I wasn't as strong as I was the week before, I gave in and we started right back up where we were months before. But it was almost as we had rewinded to the first few times we hooked up. The things he said, the things he did -we talked for hours, up until our alarms went off for work, which with no doubt we called in saying we both would be late to work. And that morning we just laid in each others arms, and I couldn't help to think how nice it would be if this was a regular event, but that's obviously not something I can just bring up. I know he likes me- that was never the question, but it's how. How much does he like me? How much is he willing to give up? How many girls has he said the same things too? How long can I take of this?
This would be the point in the movie, where he realizes he can't live with out the girl, and wants nothing more to make her happy and all her wishes come true. But this is the Real World- and it plain down SUCKS. But I guess, that is Life As I Know It.
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